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Controversial royal Lady Colin Campbell - who penned books on Princess Diana - has a new book discussing how her family dealt with her mother’s narcissistic personality disorder.

Who is Lady Colin Campbell?

Lady Colin Campbell is a successful and prolific author of several books, including London and New York Times bestsellers, and has been a prominent and often controversial figure in royal and social circles for many years.  She perhaps is best known for her international bestselling book Diana in Private, 1992, and her subsequent extended and revelatory biography of the Princess of Wales, The Real Diana published in 2004.  A noted dog and cat lover, with four of each, she lives in London with her two sixteen year old sons.

How did your writing career begin?

I wrote my first book in 1973 after my mother went off her head.  It was a philosophical treatise called The Substance and the Shadow and was really indicative of my desire to separate fantasy from fact in every day life. It wasn’t until the 1980s, though, that I became a full-time writer.

Tell us about your latest book?

Daughter of Narcissus is a memoir about how my family coped with our mother, who suffered from narcissistic personality disorder.  It is not just a memoir, however.  I wanted to create something that would be useful and helpful to people who are, or might think they are, involved with narcissists. To do so, I not only had to come clean about my mother, but also study the subject in some detail, and to write a chapter (with bibliography) about the current medical thinking surrounding NPD and the other personality disorders that frequently overlap with it.

What compelled you to write about it?

Once I realized that I could make a contribution to an often-misunderstood and neglected subject, and that others might profit from my experiences and the knowledge I gained while dealing with Gloria, I decided to give it my best shot.  Narcissism is too complex and difficult a subject to dance around, and unless I was prepared to plunge right in and be as frank and open as if I were in a therapy session, there was no point in writing about it.

How did you get the idea for it?

It was not my idea, actually.  While I was staying with a friend in New York, my hostess and I had a conversation about our narcissistic mothers with Dr Erika Freeman, the eminent America psychoanalyst.
Towards the end of the conversation, Erika suggested that I write a book about my mother. 

She said that she had every confidence I would do the subject justice, which I found flattering, for I have no medical qualifications.  However, she knew that I had been through therapy and respected some of what I had accomplished psychologically as a result, so in some ways her suggestion was quite a vote of confidence. 

Having convinced me that I had the basic ability to handle the subject matter – though of course I would need to do medical research on it – she the n had to talk me out of the misgivings I had about violating my mother’s privacy. 

This she succeeded in doing by pointing out that my mother was already dead, so no harm could come to her, while a lot of good might come out of the project if readers who were experiencing what we as a family had gone through could benefit from my knowledge.  Once she appealed to my altruistic side, I was prepared to write the book as long as my sisters had no objections.  They did not.

How difficult is it to put your life under a microscope for all the world to see?

It is a lot easier to put your life under a microscope for all the world to see when you are older and have had extensive publicity, much of it personal and inaccurate and some of it downright vitriolic and
mendacious. Of course, Daughter of Narcissus does not really put me under a microscope – it puts my mother under one, which is not the same thing at all. 

Nevertheless, I doubt that I could have written such an open and incisive account of family life with Gloria if I had not had my privacy systematically and repeatedly violated by the British tabloids over a period of two decades.  Now THAT was difficult.  In fact, it was tantamount to rape. 

The rank injustice of it all was galling, as was the total lack of any regard for my rights as a human being. Despite the fact that each and every journalist who misrepresented me must have known that they were adversely affecting my chances of having a normal life, I can count on the fingers of one hand those who backed away from trying to further their careers at my expense.

But their conduct taught me a valuable lesson.  Low people often dehumanize others, creating artificial distinctions which allow them to view others as somehow different and therefore less human that themselves.

This then allows them to lie to themselves, to convince themselves that they aren’t really being the low creatures they are,
and that their actions aren’t really all that bad. It is an amoral,
self-delusional and cowardly way to conduct oneself, for people with real character either don’t succumb to their baser sentiments or, when they do so, they have the backbone to admit their insufficiencies.

Yet many journalists felt that they were entitled to be as abusive of me as their journalistic interests demanded; to lie and continue to lie some more even after they had documentary proof that their lies were lies.

Why? Because I was a supposed celebrity and aristocrat, not an ordinary person like them.  As if my blood flows any less red than anyone else’s.

What do you hope readers will gain from reading your book?

I hope readers will find the book illuminating on the subject to narcissistic personality disorder and its related personality disorders. There is a sameness to illness that there is not to good health, and my hope is that by being as honest and frank as I have been, some of my experiences with Gloria will resonate with them and help to clarify or crystallize elements within their own lives.

Who is your greatest champion?

I fear I do not have any one individual who fits that bill.  I do however have many friends and relations who have been champions of mine throughout my life, which has, at times, been sufficiently turbulent to separate the sheep from the goats.

Who inspires you?

I am inspired by anyone who is sincerely good or kind.  I do honestly believe that at the end of the day what matters isn’t who we are or even what we have accomplished so much as whether we have been decent and positive human beings.  And, it has to be said, I love people with a good sense of humour.

What are you reading?

At the moment, I am reading Empire by Niall Ferguson.

What’s next for you?

As soon as I have finished promoting Daughter of Narcissus, I shall start editing an 18th century memoir about the French Revolution and will write its foreword in such a way that it will have appeal to those who might not necessarily know a great deal about that period of history. Then when I have done that I am committed to writing a book on the social skills that secure success.

Where can we find you on the web?

My publishers have a website:  www.dynastypress.co.uk, and I have a
blog:  http://ladycolincampbell.blogspot.com