Book Addict with Angela Wilson

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The Watershed by Rie Sheridan Rose

Fantasy and science fiction author Rie Sheridan Rose talks about showing details to create gripping fiction today at Book Addict.

If you are a writer, you’ve heard until you are sick of it “show, don’t tell.” People who claim to teach writing drum this into their students’ heads as the number one tenet. Editors criticizing rough drafts red pencil it above passages written with sweat and blood. But it is hard for anyone to quantify exactly what that three word phrase actually means.

Honestly, I doubt I can make it much clearer than anyone else, because it is something that suddenly makes sense to you when you see it – like the scene at the water pump in The Miracle Worker, when suddenly Annie Sullivan’s patient hand gestures in her palm “click” for Helen Keller, and the world unlocks for her. “Show, don’t tell” is that kind of epiphany. It may come in smaller stages, but in the end, it is as life-changing.

Making it a little clearer, here is a practical illustration. In my first published novel, The Blood that Binds, one of the main characters was crippled as a child by a dog. The scene was presented to the reader in the form of a flashback thought sequence by the other character present at the time. This is “telling” the audience what happened. Now, of course, without taking the action of the novel back in time so that the scene occurs chronologically, I can’t completely “show” the scene, but in the current incarnation of the story, the character who originally has the flashback has a conversation with another character about the incident, making it much more immediate and integral to the action than the flashback appeared – “showing” it much more clearly.

Even more to the point is another example from later in the book. In the original version, a healer thinks about the supplies she may need to replenish. The reader is told which herbs are low and so forth by virtue of an omnipotent look into the character’s mind. In the first stab at a rewrite, the character was shown looking through her baskets and taking note of what she needed. This is closer to showing than telling, but still not as dynamic as it could be. Now, the healer is talking to another character as she looks through the baskets. He is offering suggestions, and taking down her requests on his tablet. The scene has now gotten a life; it shows what happens instead of telling about it.

And the thing about this is, it took someone who was not a writer, but a reader, to look at the scene and say “but wouldn’t it be better if…?” My husband became my Annie Sullivan by teaching me that italicized thoughts are rather boring and break you out of the story, but—in his words—“forcing” the world around the characters to provide the information you want the reader to know makes that world a lot stronger and deeper. I know that, even though I am on Chapter Ten of what I had expected to be the almost final draft of my revision of the novel, I can’t wait to go back to the finished chapters and find those italicized thoughts and expand as many of them as possible into full interactive scenes.

Not only does removing the italics help keep the reader in the story (the change in font always catches the reader’s eye and breaks the flow somewhat) but it gives the writer a chance to expand their world. For example, in the scene mentioned above with the healer, the second character in the scene originally didn’t show up for the first time until a couple of chapters later. Now, his character is more developed, and the reader will care more about what happens to him further along. He becomes less “the messenger” of the original – created because someone needed to go tell another character something – and becomes more a living being with other interests and talents.

Another example of “show, don’t tell” is the result of my new writing partner, who read through my original rewrite and commented about many aspects of the world-building that were never mentioned through both a professional “book doctor” revision and full—and thorough—edit before the book was published the first time. (I am convinced that part of this was because my editors were all women, and saw the book from a different perspective—having beta readers of both sexes is a much better strategy.) In trying to answer his questions, several characters have been added to the story. The history of the kingdom that the reader needs to know isn’t handed out in a block of narration, but delivered as a lesson in politics.

Flashbacks, thoughts, blocks of exposition…all of these are ways a writer uses to “tell” their audience something. Sometimes, they cannot be avoided. Sometimes, they really are the best delivery method for the information the reader must know, but far more often than you would think, they can be rewritten into dialog or interactive scenes that “show” the author’s intent. This is the most important lesson an author can ever learn—but it is the hardest for anyone to teach them. If you can break through that mental darkness like the blind Helen to understand the symbols in your palm, you will not be able to type fast enough to show the world your watershed stories.

Find out more about Rie Sheridan at her Web site: http://riewriter.com/

Posted by Angela Wilson on 06/29/2009, 10:18 AM

Rie -

Great thoughts on showing what is happening, instead of telling. I dealt with this a lot in featuring writing as a journalist - and sometimes incorporated it into hard news, when I had the space.

Funny, when I write fiction, I tend to “tell” in the first draft - mainly to get the thoughts on the page, then go back and try to “show” my audience more. That is really hard sometimes because my brain is stuck in first draft mode.

Thanks so much for sharing!

Angela

Posted by Ethan on 06/29/2009, 03:02 PM

The same can be said for screenplays. As one teacher said, “A screenplay should go down and not out,” meaning that the dialogue should be present while very little direction and action is written on the page. Give the basics and let the film tell the story through action and dialogue instead of talking everyone to death or boring the director (or the person doing “coverage”) with a lot of extraneous detail.

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About Angela Wilson

Location: Midwest

Occupation: Author | Social Media Consultant | Freelance Writer | Storyteller | Tea Lover

Bio: I love to read, write fiction and surf (the Web). My FAV genres include mysteries, romantic suspense and thrillers. I'm finally working on my own thriller (under a pen name) and writing a book on marketing/PR for authors. In my day job, I serve as a social media consultant. I plug businesses and nonprofits into online media. As much as I love social media, the fire in my belly is for fiction. I love telling stories that entertain people. I love creating characters who have tough odds to beat. I love finding romance in the midst of chaos. I love creating mysteries with some thrill - stories that keep readers on the edge of their seats. Find out more at my blogs, http://www.wickedwordsmith.com and http://www.marketmynovel.com

Posts: 723

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