About Jeffery Stevenson
Location: Austin, TX
Occupation: Database Consultant/Writer
Bio: Pop Syndicate's Creative Adviser is also the writer and letterer of the long-running twice weekly webcomic, Brat-halla (following the Norse gods during their elementary school days), which ran for a few years at Kevin Smith's MoviePoopShoot.com (and later, QuickStopEntertainment.com) and is currently hosted over at Graphic Smash. He was also the hired wordslinger for Jim Valentino's Task Force 1 from Shadowline/Image Comics.
To keep up with the rest of Jeff's insanity, feel free to check out his personal blog at Dark-n-Dam'd.
Posts: 36
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A question about actor-in-waiting career choices...
As an actor waiting to hit the right audition at the right time, I'm working temp jobs to pay the bills. I was thinking of finding a better job to cover the rent and help with my acting career. Maybe some grunt work at a Hollywood studio or something like that. What jobs would you recommend for an actor-in-waiting to keep his dreams alive?
Mickey R., Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Dear Mickey,
Patience is tough when the universe won't get off its lazy butt and line up everything for you when you want it to. Patience is even tougher when the landlord's a paramilitary freak with access to anti-personnel mines and a Barrett M107 .50 caliber sniper rifle. But don't worry, The Creative Adviser has ya covered. We scoured the country far-and-wide looking for the best stepping stone careers an actor could wish for.
And here they are, The Creative Adviser's Ten Best Jobs For an Actor-in-Waiting:
Number 10
Professional Athlete - Sure, it might take a little effort. Hours and hours of training each day (every day), discipline, dedication, and lots of pain. But once you join the elite ranks of professional athletes... BOOM! You're on TV! You're acting, baby! You're getting noticed, and just look at how many athletes went on to do commercials, movies, TV show guest spots, and broadcasting.
Don't limit yourself to the thinking it has to be those high-commodity sports like football, baseball, and basketball. No, you could take the world of professional eating by storm. Or infiltrate the ranks of kung fu fishermen.
Notion No. 9
Tour Guide - Imagine this... you have a ready-made audience hanging on your every word. You have landmark after landmark filled with some form of history people might find interesting. You have to go over the same material hour-after-hour, day-after-day. And keep it exciting for the tourists. And make sure it's different each time to make sure the repeat tourists don't get bored and start heckling you.
That's an acting challenge. Master that and you're on your way.
Numero 8
Mall Security Guard - This job is just ripe with opportunity for developing your acting career. Not only do you get to pretend to be some kind of authority figure all day long, you generally have easy access to a movie theater (to keep up on Hollywood happenings) and a high availability of many different character archetypes.
Need to play a teenager? Hop on over to the food court or arcade and observe their angst and frustration and social awkwardness. Got an audition to play a geek? Head on over to the gaming shops or the arcade to witness their angst and frustration and social awkwardness. Want to dive into the mindset of a middle-aged man? Just go to any clothing store with good-looking sales girls and slide into the angst and frustration and social awkwardness of any of the flirtatious men seeking a more youthful appearance.
Numberonimo 7
Reality TV Show Contestant - Pretending to be real is a lot harder than it looks. You'll have to play up to the cameras in a way that's easily editable, so they can move stuff out of context or toss it in with another part of the show and it all flows like it really happened that way. It's a very conscious effort, and you'll get a fair dosage of your acting regimen under the cameras all day long. And you'll get paid for it... and maybe even get some really cool fashion tips.
Plus, you get to be on TV! Squee!
No. 6
Mascot - Are you serious about taking your acting to the next level? Think you could handle pleasing an audience without your good looks, facial expressions or even your own voice? Mascots do it on a regular basis. It gives you an insight into the depths of the human soul and how to reach out with an extreme minimalist approach and brighten their days.
Plus, you get to be on TV! Double-squee!
Namberine 5
Waiter/Waitress - There's a reason this job is so popular amongst the acting community. Easily accessible. Lots of different restaurants to choose from. Salary is only limited by the amount of tips you can charm out of people. And you'll be an expert actor after double shifts of pretending to be nice to people complaining about every little thing with their order ("This plate is too warm for my salad. You're ruining the nutritional value of my double-mega cheeseburger salad!") or asking the most obscure questions out of the blue thus putting your extemporaneous speaking skills to the test ("This says the Monte Cristo sandwich comes with multi-grain wheat bread. What kind of grains are in it and how many calories does it have?").
Numbah 4
Filmmaker - Wanna star in a film? It's easy! Make a film. If you're the writer, director, or producer of a film, you can influence the casting decisions. If you do all three, you'd be a shoe in for an important role in the film... unless you have a split personality hell-bent on sabotaging your own career.
Look how well it worked Sylvester Stallone with Rocky, and Matt Damon (and that other guy who starred and worked on the script with him whose name I forgot) in Good Will Hunting. They're practically household names now!
Numb-numb-numb-tastic 3
Escort - When you can spend a night out on the town with the lovechild of Godzilla and a sumo wrestler and make her feel utterly adored and loved like a princess in a fairy tale, you will be able to woo your way into the hearts of hundreds of thousands of women across America... with disposable income... ages 25 to 34.
Nucumber 2
Telephone Psychic - You spend all day convincing romance-starved loners they'll meet their true love or getting desperate businesspeople believing they'll have a great opportunity's right around the corner if they just look for it or letting mortal human beings know they'll die some day. Imagine the acting skill you'll develop telling people stuff they already know but in a much more authoritative and plausible way.
Plus, you wouldn't believe the number of Hollywood contacts you'll make as they call in trying to get some prediction of what will take off and what won't in today's entertainment environment.
Numbertastic 1
Actor - Isn't it obvious?
All material in The Creative Adviser is fictitious and intended solely for the purpose of entertainment. Names are fabricated and any similarity to real people or places is purely coincidental except in those cases where public figures are being satirized.
Mickey R., Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Dear Mickey,
Patience is tough when the universe won't get off its lazy butt and line up everything for you when you want it to. Patience is even tougher when the landlord's a paramilitary freak with access to anti-personnel mines and a Barrett M107 .50 caliber sniper rifle. But don't worry, The Creative Adviser has ya covered. We scoured the country far-and-wide looking for the best stepping stone careers an actor could wish for.
And here they are, The Creative Adviser's Ten Best Jobs For an Actor-in-Waiting:
Number 10Professional Athlete - Sure, it might take a little effort. Hours and hours of training each day (every day), discipline, dedication, and lots of pain. But once you join the elite ranks of professional athletes... BOOM! You're on TV! You're acting, baby! You're getting noticed, and just look at how many athletes went on to do commercials, movies, TV show guest spots, and broadcasting.
Don't limit yourself to the thinking it has to be those high-commodity sports like football, baseball, and basketball. No, you could take the world of professional eating by storm. Or infiltrate the ranks of kung fu fishermen.
Notion No. 9
Tour Guide - Imagine this... you have a ready-made audience hanging on your every word. You have landmark after landmark filled with some form of history people might find interesting. You have to go over the same material hour-after-hour, day-after-day. And keep it exciting for the tourists. And make sure it's different each time to make sure the repeat tourists don't get bored and start heckling you.
That's an acting challenge. Master that and you're on your way.
Numero 8
Mall Security Guard - This job is just ripe with opportunity for developing your acting career. Not only do you get to pretend to be some kind of authority figure all day long, you generally have easy access to a movie theater (to keep up on Hollywood happenings) and a high availability of many different character archetypes.
Need to play a teenager? Hop on over to the food court or arcade and observe their angst and frustration and social awkwardness. Got an audition to play a geek? Head on over to the gaming shops or the arcade to witness their angst and frustration and social awkwardness. Want to dive into the mindset of a middle-aged man? Just go to any clothing store with good-looking sales girls and slide into the angst and frustration and social awkwardness of any of the flirtatious men seeking a more youthful appearance.
Numberonimo 7Reality TV Show Contestant - Pretending to be real is a lot harder than it looks. You'll have to play up to the cameras in a way that's easily editable, so they can move stuff out of context or toss it in with another part of the show and it all flows like it really happened that way. It's a very conscious effort, and you'll get a fair dosage of your acting regimen under the cameras all day long. And you'll get paid for it... and maybe even get some really cool fashion tips.
Plus, you get to be on TV! Squee!
No. 6
Mascot - Are you serious about taking your acting to the next level? Think you could handle pleasing an audience without your good looks, facial expressions or even your own voice? Mascots do it on a regular basis. It gives you an insight into the depths of the human soul and how to reach out with an extreme minimalist approach and brighten their days.
Plus, you get to be on TV! Double-squee!
Namberine 5
Waiter/Waitress - There's a reason this job is so popular amongst the acting community. Easily accessible. Lots of different restaurants to choose from. Salary is only limited by the amount of tips you can charm out of people. And you'll be an expert actor after double shifts of pretending to be nice to people complaining about every little thing with their order ("This plate is too warm for my salad. You're ruining the nutritional value of my double-mega cheeseburger salad!") or asking the most obscure questions out of the blue thus putting your extemporaneous speaking skills to the test ("This says the Monte Cristo sandwich comes with multi-grain wheat bread. What kind of grains are in it and how many calories does it have?").
Numbah 4Filmmaker - Wanna star in a film? It's easy! Make a film. If you're the writer, director, or producer of a film, you can influence the casting decisions. If you do all three, you'd be a shoe in for an important role in the film... unless you have a split personality hell-bent on sabotaging your own career.
Look how well it worked Sylvester Stallone with Rocky, and Matt Damon (and that other guy who starred and worked on the script with him whose name I forgot) in Good Will Hunting. They're practically household names now!
Numb-numb-numb-tastic 3
Escort - When you can spend a night out on the town with the lovechild of Godzilla and a sumo wrestler and make her feel utterly adored and loved like a princess in a fairy tale, you will be able to woo your way into the hearts of hundreds of thousands of women across America... with disposable income... ages 25 to 34.
Nucumber 2
Telephone Psychic - You spend all day convincing romance-starved loners they'll meet their true love or getting desperate businesspeople believing they'll have a great opportunity's right around the corner if they just look for it or letting mortal human beings know they'll die some day. Imagine the acting skill you'll develop telling people stuff they already know but in a much more authoritative and plausible way.
Plus, you wouldn't believe the number of Hollywood contacts you'll make as they call in trying to get some prediction of what will take off and what won't in today's entertainment environment.
Numbertastic 1
Actor - Isn't it obvious?
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Got a question about breaking in for The Creative Adviser? Ask away! It might even get answered!
All material in The Creative Adviser is fictitious and intended solely for the purpose of entertainment. Names are fabricated and any similarity to real people or places is purely coincidental except in those cases where public figures are being satirized.
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