About Jeffery Stevenson
Location: Austin, TX
Occupation: Database Consultant/Writer
Bio: Pop Syndicate's Creative Adviser is also the writer and letterer of the long-running twice weekly webcomic, Brat-halla (following the Norse gods during their elementary school days), which ran for a few years at Kevin Smith's MoviePoopShoot.com (and later, QuickStopEntertainment.com) and is currently hosted over at Graphic Smash. He was also the hired wordslinger for Jim Valentino's Task Force 1 from Shadowline/Image Comics.
To keep up with the rest of Jeff's insanity, feel free to check out his personal blog at Dark-n-Dam'd.
Posts: 36
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A question about... well, I'm not quite sure...
Okay, so let me give you a little back story on this situation to lead into my question, so you'll have all the information available. I went to this conference last year in October, I think. No, it was definitely October because I remember talking with someone at the bar at the conference about shopping for a costume the week before I went because I was going to a friend's party where the theme was "Classic Fashion Disasters." It took a little hunting, but I managed to find a place that had a costume of Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction outfit. I thought it was going to be great, but it turned out three other girls (and one guy) had the same idea. So, I'm at this conference, and I ran into an old friend from high school. She was the "ra-ra" cheerleader type that had all the boys chasing after her, and they saw her as this ultimate prize to be won. It was really funny because no boy ever won the prize because she only liked girls. Poor guys putting in all that effort without ever knowing she'd never be interested in them because she didn't swing that way. I knew. Only because we were drunk at Charlie Mitchell's party one night, and I was telling her about how all the guys I'd been with considered me a great kisser. She told me to prove it, and we ended up kissing. That's when she told me about her little secret. After that, it was so funny watching all the boys chasing after her. So, I run into her at this conference, and it turns out she did some acting in an indy film and was there trying to learn how to write and direct her own film. While working on her indy film, she'd met this story editor at a production studio who was also acting in the film. Turns out he really wanted to be an actor and went to work at the studio to make some connections in the industry and wound up accidentally working his way up the studio chain, which delayed his acting career of course. He was there helping out at one of those round table question and answer sessions, which my friend was able to sneak me in to. It made me feel like a kid again back when my friends and I used to sneak in through the fire exit doors at the nearby movie theater because we couldn't afford to see all the movies we wanted to see. I actually made the mistake of heading back out to the concession stand to get a soda, and they weren't going to let me back in because I forgot to grab my friend's ticket (we all pitched in for one ticket and the person buying the ticket would let the rest of us in). I was able to convince them that my boyfriend (being the gentleman he is) had the tickets. I was really impressed with myself in how quickly I came up with that on the spot. So, my friend at the conference gets us into this round table, and we sit down at her story editor friend's table. We get to talking, and he gives me his business card. It was a neat little card since it had a list of all the major pictures his studio had coming out next year on the back of them. That's gotta be expensive to replace all your business cards every year or possibly even every quarter to keep the information somewhat timely. I'd go crazy if I had to change cards that often because I can barely keep up with my own. I went with this simple little thing that has a nice "About the Author" style photo on it with all my contact information beside it. Come to think of it, the picture is a little out-of-date, so I should get some new ones printed up with a better picture. The story editor thought it was neat because I gave him a copy of my card as well. He told me to send him a copy of my favorite script, and he'd get one of his studio readers to write up some coverage for it for me. Can you believe that? He's just gonna get one of the readers to read through my script and provide me with free professional coverage. We ran into him again at the bar that night, and I just had to buy him a drink because of how nice he was being. We got into this themed drinking thing where it rotated through each person for getting the drink for that round, and the drink had to start with the last letter of the drink we had last round. It was a lot of fun, and somehow the subject of that old party came up. My friend and I re-enacted the whole thing for everyone there at the bar including the kiss. It was a bit awkward later that night because she was letting me crash in her room, so I didn't have to deal with trying to drive back to my hotel while drunk. I wasn't sure what was gonna happen, and I was worried about it earlier in the day... but toss enough shots in me, and I definitely worry a lot less. It turned out fine though because she didn't try anything. It was pretty funny that we woke up wearing each other's pajamas. She had these cute little Wonder Woman pajamas that were so cool (and I was so tempted to swipe them... I need to find out where she bought them). So, I survive the night, and I rush over to my hotel to burn a CD with my script on it and rush it over to the print shop to get it printed out. They didn't have any brads there though, and I wound up going to a dozen different places before I gave up and went back to the conference where they had this print/mailer table set up where they would print up your script, three-hole punch it, brad it up, and mail it off right there from the conference floor. Someone was thinking because I can imagine they were rolling in the money with all the "send me a script" requests floating around. Anyways, I mail my script out, and he was true to his word because he mailed me out the coverage a few weeks later. It was a pass. They said the major failing was that the script lacked "focus and clarity." But we'd made a connection there at the show, and we've talked a couple times since then. I consider him a friend and that's not easy for me. I've been burned a few times. After my first marriage ended, I met this guy who treated me like his best friend but was only really interested in some rebound action. He had me completely fooled too, so I learned my lesson and became a much better judge of character. I even went to this psychology class at the community college, so I could better analyze people. They had all these neat questionnaires, and I remember this one with this crazy question about "If your mom was a flower, what kind of flower would she be?" Just think about that one for a second. That's pretty trippy if you think about it. Classifying your mom as a flower? If you consider her a rose because she's a beautiful woman, it could be misconstrued as you having some kind of romantic inclinations like Oedipus. It's crazy. I guess that's why it was part of a psychology class, but I aced that class. Because of that, I feel comfortable that this guy is a friend, so I'm wondering if that whole "lacks focus and clarity" is some kind of polite blow off statement in Hollywood. Kind of like a "this is good, but it's not quite there yet" kind of non-committal statement. So, was he just being polite and having the reader throw that into the coverage to try to protect my feelings?
Justine B., Rambling Green, LA
Dear Justine,
I think you just answered your own question.
Justine B., Rambling Green, LA
Dear Justine,
I think you just answered your own question.
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All material in The Creative Adviser is fictitious and intended solely for the purpose of entertainment. Names are fabricated and any similarity to real people or places is purely coincidental except in those cases where public figures are being satirized.
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I felt like i had to read that all in one breath.
Very funny!
Thanks, Chris. I got dizzy after writing that piece… I think I wrote it all in one breath. ^_^
I didn’t mention this earlier but that is damn funny.
That’s hilarious.
Stefan, David… thanks. It’s good to know the articles are doing their job.