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What to do when he cums too soon?  And is swallowing de rigueur?

Dear Anjelika

Please help,
Mark

Hi Mark,

I understand your girlfriend’s pain.  I once had a tryst with a married man who suffered from premature ejaculation.  He came so quickly that he missed my vagina and ended up cumming on my coat.  Without regret I sent him back to his wife.

There is something quite flattering about a guy cumming quickly; knowing that you can turn on someone that much that he instantly cums. Over time, however, it’s easy to see how this can be annoying.

The first thing you should do is to tell your girlfriend that it’s not her fault and that she’s not doing anything wrong.  Women can be just as insecure about sex as men.  We need lots of reassurance that it’s not us.  Then make sure you eat her out AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!  Even if you cum too quickly, make sure that she cums every time you initiate sex! This will alleviate the some of the pressure on you both (unless she’s secretly trying to get pregnant, but that’s a whole different story)

Next why don’t you try wearing a condom?  This will desensitize you a bit and will keep you from cumming as fast.

Third, if you know you’re going get lucky on a particular night, try jerking off before your girlfriend comes over.

Fourth, I know this will sound a bit wacky, but try masturbating with a condom and a water wing.  Oh, what do Brits call water wings in this country?  You know, the inflatable armbands kids put on their arms before going into the pool. 

Anyhow, buy a new armband, inflate it, then submerge it in hot water for 2 minutes. The armband should feel warm, but not too hot.  Put a condom on your penis, then stick it in the hole of the armband. It should look like you’re smurfin an armband, basically.

See how long it takes you to cum masturbating that way.  Do it every day for a month.  Each time you do it, try to last 30 seconds longer.  By the end of the month you should be able to last 15 minutes longer.

Lastly, if all else fails try contacting British Association for Sexual and Relationship Therapy

Good luck,
Anjelika

Dear Anjelika,
What exactly is the deal with swallowing anyway? Is there some sort of unspoken rule that says a woman must swallow or don’t bother giving head? My husband loves what I do but I can’t stand the taste or texture! Is it okay not to swallow or am I to just grin and bear it?
Jennifer

Hi Jennifer,

Yes, there is an unspoken rule that says women must swallow or don’t bother giving head.  But you know what?  Rules were meant to be broken.  I’ve never swallowed.  Never ever. I’ve only let two guys cum in my mouth.  I spit it out for the first guy and I snowballed with the second guy. I really enjoyed the snowballing.

When I was dating, I made it clear up front that I wasn’t into swallowing.  I told guys that some day I’d like to try it but that I currently felt timid about it.  All the guys I bedded understood that.  It was never a problem or deal breaker.

In the context of a relationship it can be tricky depending on who’s the dominant one in the relationship.  My boyfriend is dominant in the bedroom.  Whatever he says goes. It’s kinky and I like it that way. So if one evening he says to me, “Tonight, honey, you’ll swallow,” well, bring out the Listerine because that’s how things will go.  He rules the roost in the bedroom.  In my case, I’d have to grin and bear it.

Yes, it’s okay not to swallow, but a lot of guys will find that seriously uncool. 

Good Luck,
Anjelika