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Diversify yo bonds, sucka!!!

Now, when it comes to rappers bragging about how much money they’ve got, I’d like to think most of us know by now, that a lot of them are lying through their platinum grills! To say nothing of the younger knuckleheads these days, who will blow their entire advance on gaudy jewelry. . . .only to have it snatched right off their necks at a concert, or have it get lost after having it send via FedEx (yeah, I’m talkin’ to you, Sean Kingston!!). It’s one thing for your dime-a-dozen rapper to not keep track of how much money he’s got in the bank, but it’s crazy to think that there are still prominent figures in the rap game that just can’t seem to keep their money right; the businessmen, high-profile producers, etc. And no, they can’t blame it on the goddamn economy!

You know times are hard when you’re trying to sell your $9,000,000.00 mansion on Craigslist. Just ask Scott Storch! One of the most ubiquitous hip-hop/R&B producers in the game, Storch still has plenty to keep him busy, working with artists like Ciara and 50 Cent. But just two short years after being considered one of the top money makers in the rap game, Storch finds himself entangled in multiple lawsuits for the money he owes. His evasiveness has even lead to a warrant being issued for his arrest for failing to pay child support. Then there’s the property tax he owes on that aforementioned Craigslist mansion, totaling over half a million dollars. To say Storch’s problems are due to “financial mismanagement” is a major understatement. The dude’s just a friggin’ moron! Beyond the extravagant purchases for himself, Storch seems to have spent the last four years paying out the ass. . . for ass! He’s rumored to have spent over a million dollars on jewelry for Lindsay Lohan, and bought Bentleys for both Paris Hilton and Lil’ Kim. Of course, Kim’s was subsequently repossessed. . . .while a camera crew was present. . . .yeah. Bottom line, Storch has clearly fallen victim to MC Hammer syndrome. You’d think such a high-profile figure in the music industry would know better.

Then we’ve got Dame Dash. It’s kind of a shame, considering how much he did contribute to Jay-Z’s success, as far as them getting Roc-A-Fella Records started back in the mid-90s. But times certainly have been tough on Dash since him and Jay-Z had a falling out, and Dash left Roc-A-Fella. He’s behind on mortgage payments for his two New York condos, His Chevy Tahoe SUV has been repossessed, and his lawyers have dumped him for not paying his legal fees. But it’s not like Dash was indulging in extravagances the way Storch was, he was just trying to stay on top of his business, and to an extent, I can’t fault him for that. At the same time, however, Dash also wanted to prove that he didn’t need Jay-Z to be successful. I think the difference between Dame Dash and say, Diddy, where he also had to carry on without his biggest hitmaker, was that Diddy had already made a name for himself before Notorious B.I.G. was killed. Diddy just understands business on a far broader scale than Dash, so to the point that it doesn’t even matter that the music acts he puts out now are pure ass cheddar. Cassie makes his ex, J.Lo sound like an opera diva by comparison. Dash can’t build any kind of empire on his own if he has to rely on guys like Jim Jones and the rest of the Dip Set.

As it stands, there’s always going to be a lesson to learn for all those trying to come up in the rap game. It’s all still very ego-driving, and it doesn’t take much for some of these guys to really start believing their own hype, and thinking that they’ll stay on top forever. There’s always going to be a vast majority of individuals that make it to the top, and believe that as long as they have the money, they might as well spend it. At least invest in some Euros or something, you dingbats!