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Wednesday evening, a friend of mine, all but accosted me over the news of iPhone’s price drop. He had purchased the 4 Gb version and was none too please that it was not only discontinued but its bigger brother, the 8 Gb model, is less expensive than what he paid for. I have to admit, I too felt the sting of paying more than I needed to had I waited 90 days. But I already felt that sting when I bought the iPhone in the first place; doubly so when I think about the fact that had I stayed with The Apple Store, I would have gotten one for free.

My short stint with Apple showed me the darker side of fanaticism. Sure, there were the die-hard fans of apple; with each new product announcement, each software update, there they were, the Stevians. They were just like us but without the company issued t-shirts. In some ways, they were our best customers. Rich or poor, they were just happy to be there. I’m not talking about them.

I’m talking about the Appholes. Folks who don’t much like computers. In fact, where I worked, Highland Park (the town too rich to notice it sounds like a trailer park facility), they only come to the store to shop for others. That’s the great thing about being rich: reminding others you can afford to buy them Apple products. Occasionally, an Apphole would cause a scene, or be difficult, or try to blame us for his/her computer woes. They aren’t interested in company policies or actual physics.

Where’s all this going? Apple came out with the iPod Nano in and around September 2005. So did Katrina. Apple sold a million units in the first 17 days. Katrina – the levees really, if you want to be specific – displaced over a million people, killed 1,836, and destroyed a city. So here you have a bunch of crazed gadget-hungry consumers racing toward the mall like a bad zombie movie starring Ving Rhames. And then there’s a bunch of homeless New Orleans evacuees desperately trying to find some free internet access to let their families know they’re alive. Guess which store had iPod nanos and internet (plus wifi).

Between the nano and Katrina, our customers evinced their true colors with vivid Technicolor accuracy. We had customers literally screaming bloody murder that their scratched nano couldn’t be replaced because it was sold out. Meanwhile, at the genius bar, “My computer got wet from the storm. My family is in New Jersey so I’ll be without a computer for a week while take the bus there… and I’m broke.” Hey! Be glad you’re alive, lady. This is a repair station, not a pity party. Sheesh!

Since Wednesday’s price slashing, Apple offered up a $100 store credit realizing that the iPhone wouldn’t have been the smashing success without all of the early adopters—their little way of thanking us for being good consumer whores. Maybe, my friend will put that toward buying Apple Care. 

Chris Williams writes for Nerd Alert! during his evening minutes.

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