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Soon, Marvel will be releasing The Essential Dazzler.  I think saying “essential” and “Dazzler” in the same breath is just redundant.  The only reason that anyone who’s queer, or at least interesting, shouldn’t buy this trade is because (like me) they already own every issue that will be reprinted in this oh-so-exciting trade paperback.

Why Dazzler?  Because she’s OURS.  This character was originally conceived as a tie-in with Casablanca Records, the good people who brought the Village People to a nation starved for fabulousness.  The plan was that the character would be introduced in conjunction with an album.  Luckily, that didn’t happen.  I say luckily, because if there had actually been a Dazzler album I think my iPod would have burst into flames long ago.

We first met Miss Alison Blair in Uncanny X-Men #130.  Let me set the stage: Jean, Cyclops and Nightcrawler go to a seedy nightclub in search of a mutant that Cerebro has located.  Much to their surprise, the mutant is the entertainment; a singer who calls herself “Dazzler,” has the ability to transmute sound into fabulous disco lightshows, and complete her entire set in roller skates and garish, identity-concealing face paint.  Are you in love yet?  Because it gets even better.

Dazzler #1 came out in early 1981, long after the sun set on the original disco craze.  The book opens with Alison being chased by thugs into a dead-end alley.  She responds to this by PUTTING ON HER ROLLER SKATES AND TURNING ON HER RADIO!  And then she busts out her catchphrase that still gives me a frisson of joy: “Go for it!” She puts on a funky lightshow that freaks out the criminals, and then Spider-Man shows up and captures them as they try to escape.  She discloses to Spider-Man that her singing career is in the toilet, and he offers this encouragement: “Hang in there, sweetheart.  You have talent.  All you need is time.” After Spidey leaves the frame, Alison says aloud to herself, “Being a singing star has always been my one, burning ambition.  But chasing a dream can be so lonely… So terribly, terribly lonely!”

When she returns to her apartment, she just keeps talking to herself, in spite of the fact that thought balloons were in rampant use during that period in comics.  What do we learn from Alison’s conversation with Alison?  Girlfriend’s two months behind in the rent and her fridge is damn empty.  Her father is a judge and has condemned her for daring to follow her pre-American Idol dreams.  Okay, if you’re not in love with her yet, you may as well go buy a casket because you’re dead inside.

In her first adventure, she tries to get a singing gig and ends up competing with the Enchantress, the Norse goddess.  And wins.  Of course NO ONE, but NO ONE snubs a narcissistic Norse goddess and gets away with it.  With the help of her kajillion superhero friends, Alison vanquishes the Enchantress, and gets an audience with a big-shot talent agent.  After hearing her sing, the agent signs her.  The last panel in issue #2 is her elated expression, with a caption underneath that reads: “NEXT: Dazzler takes on… Dr. Doom!” Within the first twelve issues, Alison takes on Dr. Doom, the Hulk, and temporarily becomes a Herald of Galactus.  That is not a typo; I said Herald of Galactus and I totally meant it. Now that’s what I call a singing career.

The face-painted, roller skating ass-kicking went on for only a few more years, until unfortunately, someone realized that disco had fallen out of favor before this character was even created.  It was inevitable that the character was revamped, and what a sad day that was.  They put this garish parakeet of a superheroine in a navy-blue body suit with a Monica-Lewinsky-style stain on the lapel, and the stories got a lot darker.  Her solo book was canceled after issue #42.

The over-the-topness of this book still delights me, and I hope that with the release of “The Essential Dazzler,” a whole new generation of queer kids will discover this campy, and outrageously likable character.  I hope that little Joey in Idaho, the star of his high school’s swing choir, will happen across this book and think, “God, please let her singing career take off, and please let things work out between Alison and her uptight judge father.” And maybe after reading this trade, Joey will hear about American Idol auditions that are happening in a neighboring town, and he’ll say to himself, “Go for it!”

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