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A question about talent...
Why do I have to jump through all these hoops when my talent speaks for itself?!

Roman P., Bridgeport, CT


Dear Roman,

I hear that a lot, and I've always been curious what Talent has to say about it. People always like to jump on the Talent bandwagon when they just don't want to put in the work it takes to get better. "I don't need to learn grammar--I have talent!" "I don't need to spend hours practicing--I have talent!" Well, guess what? I managed to track the rascally devil down for an interview, and here's what Talent shared with us...

Creative Adviser: Can you tell us a little about yourself?

Talent: I'm good at what I do. Simple as that. No training, no mentors, no Being Good at What You Do for Dummies, and no hassles. It's all natural. I'm like the organic foods section of your grocery store. I'm good without the need for preservatives, additives, high fructose corn syrup, or fancy packaging.

CA: You speak for a lot of people. What makes you such an authority?

T: Do you know who you're talking to? I wrote the book on talent. I've been doing this since the beginning of mankind, so I have a whole hell of a lot of experience on my side. You see a guy or a girl out there strutting their stuff with natural ability, and you see my work in action. They pick up a sport or activity in no-time flat, and you know that's me on the clock. When it comes to talented people, I've seen it all and done it all... and done it all with ease.

CA: Were you always that good?

T: I've been this good since the day I mysteriously phased into existence. I wouldn't be in this business for long if I wasn't.

CA: So, you don't have any drills or practice techniques you use to develop yourself?

T: Nope. You heard me earlier. I'm all the goodness without the work. All those talented folks you see where everything just comes naturally to them without really trying? I'm the epitome of that. I'm where all that comes from. Those people are my clients, and they have an edge that makes life interesting. Makes the others work harder to keep up or make a feeble attempt to show up my clients.

CA: Lots of people claim to have you... can you really work for so many people at once?

T: Oh, yeah. It's all a matter of proper time management. I like to get a few active clients that will take the natural skills and work to get even better. This makes me look good. It's all marketing there. They get their name in lights and show off those skills constantly. But to balance things out, I like to work with people that'll never fully apply those skills. They'll rely on the natural abilities to just skate by and use all that spare time to live life to the fullest. This gives me an easier workload, and I love the fact that it pisses the non-talented people off. They'll spend all weekend studying for a big exam while their roommate roused him or herself from a party-induced coma the morning of the test and passed without really trying. They'll work for years on a screenplay to enter into a contest while one of my clients cranks one out in four weeks and places higher than them. They'll prepare for an audition for weeks only to get beat out by one of my clients that walks in off the street at the last minute and nails it perfectly first try. You should see the looks on some of those people... that's probably my favorite part of this job. Hmmm... I should start videotaping those reactions.

CA: How can you keep track of all these people?

T: I'm gifted remember. I can do everything with ease including remembering everything and anything with perfect recall, so all I need to remember who my clients are is me. As for physically keeping track of them, I also have spies everywhere to let me know when I need to go to work for one of my clients. Sometimes, it gets hectic... feels like I'm being pulled apart, but I'm pure talent. I can get anything done.

CA: Well, since you remember all your clients, do you know Roman P. of Bridgeport, CT?

T: Nope. Never heard of him.

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All material in The Creative Adviser is fictitious and intended solely for the purpose of entertainment. Names are fabricated and any similarity to real people or places is purely coincidental except in those cases where public figures are being satirized.