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Have you ever been totally suckered in to buying a VHS or DVD film based on bad-ass box cover art only to find you spent good money on the world’s biggest piece of shit cinema?  I have and to make it worse before the big horror craze and coming of the DVD format - I remember that if I wanted a hard to find film or some foreign rarity, I had to order it out of the back of some horror mag like Deep Red or some horror fan zine, usually having to pay top dollar to some weird guy from OHIO to get a copy of a copy of a copy bootleg of the film on shitty VHS - those were the days!  But there was kind of something cool about it - you had a way to get this legendary find and be the only guy with it and in a way even if the film was shit, it was a treasure none the less.  So imagine if you spent 60 bucks on a shit VHS copy of a movie that turned out to be a big turd - case in point the last VHS purchase I ever got - BEAUTY’S EVIL ROSE (but it did have great nudity.)

A lot of the films I can think of I got suckered on - well the first one to come to mind is ALIEN PREY which on the VHS cover art had this vampire looking guy in bed with a pretty much eaten up female corpse beside him - Well, what I got was like a lot of euro-cinema - a long drawn out boring as hell movie with a couple of tit shots and a 20 second gore scene.

I would love to hear your thoughts or share movies that made you want to rip your hair out for wasting money on.  Please share!!! 

-Leather Jacket Buddha

pretty much anything that had a hot chick on the cover when i was like age 13-18. Working at a blockbuster didnt help this at all

Being a 35 year old man who has been reading horror mags since I was in the fourth grade, I have ordered many a film from the back of those mags on impulse. I remember everyone told me that I had to find El Topo…I looked for it forever…finally got a copy and I didnt understand the film at all…it was too complicated for my then 14 year old mind…I loved those days…anybody could get a hold of a film…didnt matter your age….it was a terrible copy of a copy…but I bet I watched that thing 50 times in about 6 months….I knew it was an important film….I showed it to all my friends…who then thought I was insane….its when I realized my taste in films was different from the guys I grew up with.

The one I wasted my money on was a copy of Make Them Die Slowly AKA Cannibal Ferox….it was my first journey into the world of cannibal films as I had read it was the most terrifying film ever made and it was banned in so many countries….I’ve stated before on here that I don’t particularly care for the cannibal genre, this is the film that caused that feeling. The film was an awful experience as I saw it too young, it eventually came out in in the video stores around town, I can remember the box art like it was yesterday….I hated this film…still do honestly…btw I was in the sixth grade when I saw this film…was it a parenting mistake?...I dont think so as my parents were very liberal and actually loved horror films themselves.

Thats my story…at least one of them anyway….I do miss that hunting for the elusive horror film as it is very easy to find films now….the nostalgia is very nice to think about some times…I was that kid in my neighborhood who always had the craziest films….the other parents adored me.

Thanks for sharing Samurai, I knew there were others out there during the 80’s and early 90’s that had to do the same hunting.  El Topo and the Holy Mountain were to of my buys back then too.  Cannibals scared the shit out of me as a child - I could watch anything but the fear of visiting some beautiful tropical place only to be consumed violently by naked cannibals bashing in my ding dong with a spear scared the hell out of me!

Yeah they always go for the ding dong too…....that and the animal torture in those films….sorry too much for me….

I’m glad I was dirt poor and more into comic books when I was a kid. If anything the internet helps stave the flow of cash to turdy bootlegs. Only let your cash go to bootlegs of good films. Of course you still have to dig up the good ones.

Samurai, ding dong torture films are rough, I agree. Sympathy pains of that degree should be witnessed only with motion sickness pills and a bag of ice.

LJB, the top of my head would have blown off if I watched El Topo at 14.

DZ - 18 May 2008 06:48 PM

I’m glad I was dirt poor and more into comic books when I was a kid. If anything the internet helps stave the flow of cash to turdy bootlegs. Only let your cash go to bootlegs of good films. Of course you still have to dig up the good ones.

Samurai, ding dong torture films are rough, I agree. Sympathy pains of that degree should be witnessed only with motion sickness pills and a bag of ice.

LJB, the top of my head would have blown off if I watched El Topo at 14.

Hey Diz, you still reading any comics of note? I was wondering and I was gonna call and leave a voicemail to ask you this, if you have read The Walking Dead by Robert Kirkman, very strong zombie comic, more about the people dealing with a zombie plague than the zombies themselves…good stuff….I am also a huge comic fan, since I was very small, it’s an addiction I can’t shake.

I like The Walking Dead series a lot. A client of mine who owns a comic book store updates me when the new compilation comes out. I’ve been avoiding the comic store lately to save up for an upcoming vacation though. I think any zombie fan should look into the series.

I’m waiting for Lost Girls to come in so I can enjoy more Alan Moore madness.

Yeah, I’m really digging Walking Dead and DMZ,  I have been catching up on the Fables series through trade paperbacks. I read alomost everything in trade nowadays as that comic habit can get expensive quick and my wife isnt the biggest fan of my visiting the comic store, it puts a dent in the check book seriously and quickly. I’m also catching up on Y: The Last Man in trade….all good stuff.

I have been following the walking dead since the first book came out I love it.

It’s good to have some Walking Dead fans on here, you read any other books Bill?

Walking Dead is a great series, but please stay the hell away from that piece of crap 28 Days later prequel comic - blah, what a waste of money.  Joe R Lansdale’s Drive-In Zombie Story is bad-ass also - a great read. And though it’s not a zombie tale, if you haven’t read preacher, you must go do it now!!!!

Leather Jacket Buddha

I’m gonna be diving into Preacher sometime soon I hope, really like that writer Garth Ennis, his series The Boys is a lot of fun as well.

Preacher rocks hard enough to blow God’s socks off. He has cold feet now.