This was not a fun film. In fact I was so bored I fell asleep. I did rewind so I could say I watched the whole thing.
Apparently the military is aware of an zombie outbreak in an out of the way town which we are reminded several times is a shithole. They somehow manage to be there long before there is an outbreak, though and when the zombies come a munching the military proves ineffective. In fact it seems as though the unit sent to this town is full of only inept misfits.
Exhibit A (please note, these characters are very much screenwriting 101 types):
Mena Suvari is a Corporal Sarah who doesn’t load her gun for ‘it’s a long story’ reasons and enjoys being talked down to by Private Salazar.
Nick Cannon is a Private who despite being good in a fight is your token racist character because there are never enough cliches.
Michael Welch is Trevor, Sarah’s brother who has a chip on his shoulder because he has to have one to be an effective brother in this kind of movie.
AnnaLynne McCord is Trevor’s girlfriend who did the best acting in this film and worked best with the little she had to go with.
Stark Sands is Private Bud and he is our vegetarian zombie. I’m not sure why he didn’t flip out and attack the plant life nearby, but he’s good to have around in a zombie-holocaust.
If you’re wondering about Ving Rhames, well, he’s in it but not for very long.
Exhibit B (the screenwriting 101 plot conventions to keep the action moving):
I’m glad we were shown an abandoned building Trevor and his friends are making out in. This could be important later.
Slutty girl is on her own in the woods and what’s that? There’s movement behind the trees? Can she run without falling? Oh, I guess not and look how she is eaten off screen.
I’m glad there’s an electrician working on something at the power plant. Too bad it’s during a zombie outbreak. Oh no, she got chomped on an important box which when drenched in blood short circuits the entire town. Wait, that box was so open anybody could have thrown a cup of water on it to short it out.
It’s a good thing the military knocked out all communication to and from the town (not sure how they took out cell reception) just before the zombie attacks.
Zombies retain something of themselves which explains why they do a few smarter things than you would expect, but how did they learn to climb along walls and ceilings?
Just so there is no confusion, once someone becomes a zombie you can see it in their insta-necrotic face.
Remember that abandoned make-out building? Well, it just so happens to be a cover for the underground facility housing the government’s tests on zombie warfare. How…nice.
Exhibit C (ugh)
Shaky cam throughout, but inconsistently. It tries to show it’s ugly head when someone thought the scene needed a little more oomph.
Who knew that CGI fire causes CGI zombie heads to explode? Word of warning, if you’re a CGI zombie stay away from anything CGI incendiary.
I guess the zombies can look faster if you speed them up digitally.
What hero can’t make a headshot every time?
I’m running out of steam. Avoid this hunk of junk if you can. And if someone has you tied up with pins under your eyes making you watch this than I’m sorry.
