He’s Her Gay, He’s Her Gay,
And you know he’s here to stay.
He’s Her Gay, He’s Her Gay
Living life in a unusual way.
He’s a artist, She’s a writer
It’s clear to see they couldn’t get much tighter,
He’s a slob, She’s much cleaner
But they both giggle at Nightwing’s weiner.
He’s Her Gay, He’s Her Gay,
They stick together come what may.
He’s Her Gay, He’s Her Gay
And she wouldn’t have it any other way.
“He’s Her Gay!” is filmed before a live studio audience.
I hadn’t actually thought of this episode until HowTao mentioned it in another thread. The episode where Gail teaches Phil to drive. “How come joo don’t got no stick? I want to drive a stick!” Phil laments in his pool-boy accent. Gail assures him he’s not ready for a stick and Phil assures her he was born ready for a stick. Before they even get out of the garage Phil backs over Gail’s cat, Barbara Gordon. Gail doesn’t realize what’s happened, and Phil fakes a tantrum over not getting to drive a stick to distract her, hissing and spitting and howling like a cat in heat. Gail storms back to the apartment, and Phil flies into action. He grabs Barbara Gordon’s body and starts running around with it at arm’s length, not really sure what to do with it. As he’s running around, his new next-door neighbors (remember Shooter and Solange moved to LA to get her on American Idol? Who knew that kid could sing like that? Halfway through her nearly unintelligible version of Summertime I was already sobbing so hard I almost forgot to vote for Clay…), Jean and Jean-Paul. In a voice like a haughty diplomat Jean-Paul asks Phil if he’s holding a dead cat. Phil says “Yes, but I didn’t kill it!” Jean-Paul looks at Jean and she kind of holds her temples and has some kind of seizure and then nods. “He killed it.” And then she collapses on the ground holding her head screaming, “Oooh, my power!” Jean-Paul rolls his eyes at Phil and says, “She gets headaches.” Phil tells him, “That’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard.” Jean-Paul looks at him like he just smelled a fresh dog turd. He motions at Barbara Gordon and says, “I kind of know this Canadian witch-doctor that might be able to fix that.” Phil nods and, on bended knee, offers Barbara Gordon’s body to Jean-Paul, like an sacrifice. “Just so you know,” Jean-Paul says, holding Barbara Gordon by her tail, “You and I are never going to sleep together. Never.” “My powers!” Jean moans from the floor. “Pee on me!” Phil begs. Suddenly, Gail comes back into the garage. “Okay, Charo, one more shot…” And she sees Jean-Paul holding Barbara Gordon, and completely loses bladder control. For an awfully long time nobody says anything. It’s just pee hitting pavement and Jean moaning. Then, Gail screams and grabs Barbara Gordon from Jean-Paul. “Who did this,” she sobs. Phil points at Jean-Paul, and Jean-Paul points at Phil, and Jean struggles to her feet. “Your pool-boy killed her,” and then she’s back on the floor. Then Patrick Stewart’s voice booms, “Stop! This madness must stop!” Then that freaky bald Egyptian cat in the tiny motorized wheelchair rolls into the garage. Phil tries to climb Jean-Paul, screaming “Rat!” “I’m no rat, you sashaying simian,” the cat hisses. “I’m Charles Xavier, and I just happen to be the owner of the most powerful cat brain in…” And then Phil clobbers him with a snow shovel, screaming, “Rat!” Jean snaps out of it long enough to cradle Professor X’s body to her chest, then starts screaming, “He’s in my head!” But everything turned out okay in the end. Remember, Barbara Gordon was only crippled in the accident, and she wound up bossing everybody around from her wheelchair. And getting whacked with a shovel restored Charles Xavier’s ability to walk. At least until Phil put him in the laundry chute.