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A Monopoly in Hollywood

Michael Bay producing Ouija?  Ridley Scott on Monopoly?  Are Hasbro games going Hollywood?

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Hasbro and Universal unveiled their new partnership.  Six years and four movies based on Hasbro game and toy lines.  Michael Bay is already signed on as a producer for a Ouija project (in regards to Ouija boards, don’t trust spirits that don’t have bodies of their own ‘cause they’re bored, sexually frustrated and looking for a cheap laugh).  The article also mentions Hasbro is talking with Ridley Scott for a Monopoly project.  Hmm… Ridley Scott on Monopoly…

WIFE: Who’s that at the door, Harold?

HUSBAND: It’s a giant wheelbarrow, dear.  He says he’s wanting to buy up all the properties on our street for some business development.

WIFE:  How much is he offering?

HUSBAND:  260.

WIFE:  260,000 dollars?  Call your cousin Vincent, the lawyer and make sure this is legit.

HUSBAND:  No, it’s just 260 dollars.

WIFE:  Well, you can tell him he can take his fancy money and shove it right up--

HUSBAND:  Calm down, dear.  He’s a giant wheelbarrow, he doesn’t even have one of those.

WIFE:  Don’t tell me to calm down when someone’s insulting us like that.  Go tell him ‘no’.

HUSBAND:  But--

WIFE:  Don’t start with me Harold.  We’re not interested and that’s final.

HUSBAND (at the door):  I’m sorry, sir.  But we’re not interested in your offer at--

SQUISH

WIFE:  Harold?!  Aaaaaaa--

SQUISH

[Minutes later out on the street]

POLICE LIEUTENANT (on megaphone):  This is the police!  We have you surrounded.  Come out with your hands up and--

POLICE OFFICER #1:  Sir?

POLICE LIEUTENANT:  What?!

POLICE OFFICER #1: Well, lieutenant… it’s just… he’s a wheelbarrow, sir.  He doesn’t have hands.

POLICE LIEUTENANT (on megaphone):  Fine!  Come out with your handles up, so we can take you directly to jail!  Make it easy on--

CRASH

POLICE LIEUTENANT:  Dammit, he’s making a run for Go.

POLICE LIEUTENANT (on radio):  All units, set up a roadblock at Atlantic Avenue and Vermont.  Suspect is a giant wheelbarrow.  I repeat, suspect is a giant wheelbarrow.

POLICE OFFICER #2 (from radio):  Oh, that’s a good one lieutenant.  You had me going there for a sec.  Giant wheelbarrow.  That’s fun--

POLICE OFFICER #2 (from radio):  [expletive of your choice here], look out!  Turn dammit or we’ll hit that--

SMASH

CRUSH

CRINKLE

POLICE LIEUTENANT:  Sigh.  Of all the crazy towns to choose from, I had to pick the one with frustrated giant wheelbarrows, thimbles and top hats trying to live the American dream.