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Yet another remake, this time by the producer of the original trying to right his wrongs. Does he succeed?

One form of remake hell crashes into another as we get a new take on Children of the Corn, which brings together a form of slasher film mixed with the filmography of Stephen King. We’ve had more than enough of both lately, neither side of which has really gained any sort of ground in the “it was a good idea” department. But wait, this Children of the Corn has something different about it. It’s not another installment of the original series (which made it to seven films), but a reboot/remake/rewhatever. So they all are, right? But what’s this on the box?

“Screenplay by Donald P. Borchers and Stephen King”

Stephen King, the man who gave us the original short story this entire series is based upon has finally stepped in to help write it. Also, that first name? Borchers? He was the producer of the original 1984 Children of the Corn and now he’s co-writing and directing this remake? Well, not exactly on that first point. As Borchers mentions in a special feature, King wanted no part in the remake and refused to even read the screenplay. So how did his name end up on it? Who knows. Maybe it’s because Borchers decided this time around to be a lot more faithful to the original story, and admits he “hollywoodized” the original film too much.

Anyway, this version is more faithful to the original story, all the way down to its downbeat ending. A bickering couple unwittingly ends up in a small Nebraska town where the children have created a murderous cult, killing all adults who cross their paths in the name of He Who Walks Behind the Rows. That’s pretty much the entire plot, but what did you expect from a story that was originally just a handful of pages long?

This version, while faithful, lacks something. For one, likeable characters. The adults are a-holes and the kids are not good enough actors to portray “menacing” well. That it was made as a Sci-Fi…er, SyFy Channel (I’m never going to get used to that) production doesn’t help. There are certainly some decent concepts here, but the whole thing feels like just another retread in the series.

Special features on this Anchor Bay disc include the previously-mentioned discussion with Borchers, some other cast/crew interviews and a little bit of behind-the-scenes footage. Nothing special.

I’m all for new Stephen King adaptations, but do we really need all these made-for-TV remakes in their place? There are still plenty of stories by him that are waiting to be turned into average direct-to-video chillers, and no matter how noble intentions are, there are just some franchises that need to be put to rest once and for all.

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