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Shonen Onmyoji comes to its highly predictable end in volumes five and six, while Ragnarok makes out hands twitch for a controller.

Funimation has brought us some of the best anime out there right now. From Fullmetal Alchemist to Hellsing, One Piece to Tsubasa, they’ve grabbed up some of the greats and brought them to us in beautiful sets that make even the least otaku of us drool. One of my favorite feelings in the world is cracking open a DVD of theirs and finding a new list of upcoming releases, and it’s all because they set the bar high with their stellar array of titles.

But with every rule, there is an exception. Shonen Onmyoji and Ragnarok are those exceptions.

Abe no Masahiro is the grandson of Abe no Seimei, the greatest onmyoji in the land. Masahiro, who is destined to be Seimei’s heir, has recently gained his ability to use his spirit sight after having it sealed away for so long. Let the shenanegans begin!

Sadly, this is not a show of shenanegans - though it might be better if it did have a few. Masahiro and Seimei are served by a group of twelve shikigami, spirits with special powers. And it’s a good thing, too, because one nasty bad guy from Seimei’s past has come to wreak a little havoc on Masahiro’s life, and get revenge (or something. He’s a bad guy, so it must be something nasty, right?).  In disc five and six, this big bad is called Chishiki no Soushu. This dude possesses people, manipulates a sweet little magical maiden named Kazane into becoming a baddy herself, and sometimes makes a second head pop out of a crow (gross. Just gross, man). He has a mad on for the gates of the underworld, and it takes Seimei, his grandson Masahiro and all twelve shikigami to bring this guy down.

Seriously? Seimei is supposed to be the most powerful onmyoji around, and Masahiro his already powerful successor. The shikigami all have really cool powers, and they even have a couple of gods on their side. I don’t buy him as that big a nasty for a second, even if he did put a spell on Guren to make him one naughty mokkun. Possibly if Rikugo wasn’t so concerned with his emo love for Kazane and Tai’in stopped her bitching for two seconds they might not have had such a hard time, but they did and so the last fight drags on for two whole discs. Some of it is kinda neat, but for the most part it drags and hits every formulaic, contrived plot twist in the book. But look on the good side, kids - it’s pretty forgetable, so as soon as you’re done wasting time on the series, you forget all about it.

Which brings us to Ragnarok. Now, it’s a given that not every rpg can be as stellar as FF VII  and not every video game based anime can be as fun and original as Advent Children. We get this going in. But Ragnarok watches like an rpg, battles and all. The characters are even nice enough to wait their turns before doing a little damage, and if they all had health bars next to their heads the picture would be complete.

Ragnarok follows Roan and Yuufa, childhood friends who are adventurers. Yuufa lost her older brother, and Roan, who loves Yuufa, follows her on her adventures and attempts to protect her with his sword. We first meet the two as Roan isn’t doing such a hot job protecting her, and in steps a mage. Pretty soon there is a battle in progress - Roan does sword attacks, Takius the mage fights with - you guessed it - magic, and Roan kind of hangs back and heals the group.

I love rpgs, but the thing is this - I love playing them. What’s the point of sitting back and watching this crap without the fun of kicking total bad guy ass? My husband hates it when I backseat drive and shout out advice to him when he’s playing a game, so listening to me yell ‘heal the mage, bitch! She can revive the others from the dead!’ at the television really didn’t do it for him.

The show has a plot, but it was dull. There’s a dark lord, he manipulates people into doing naughty things, yadda yadda. Like Shonen Onmyoji, it has potential, but that’s all.

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