PopSyndicate.com

While the film version of Don’t Drink the Water is a passable vintage comedy, time has not been kind to the direction style and soundtrack, both of which are alternately jarring and tedious.

The story centers on Walter Hollander (comedy legend Jackie Gleason), a New Jersey caterer, his quirky wife, Marion (Estelle Parsons, Rosanne’s TV mom) and his super-groovy daughter Susan (Joan Delaney).  The Hollander’s have forgone their usual vacation to Miami Beach for their first trip to Europe.  Things go awry when their plane is hijacked and forced to land deep behind the Iron Curtain in the fictional country of Vulgaria.  When Walter accidentally photographs a secret Vulgarian military base (“What’d you think it was??? A place that sold guns and dogs and barbed wire?!?!”), they are immediately branded as spies and are forced to seek political asylum at the United States embassy, temporarily run by the Ambassador’s bumbling son, Axel (Ted Bessell, Donald on TV’s That Girl.)

Hijinks ensue.

The stage version of the story is still very funny and is produced frequently in regional theaters all over the country.  However, the film seems to have lost a lot of the farcical feel of the play, never reaching the comedic fever pitch it aspires to.  In fact, it drags. The whole climactic scene just becomes painful. (An Arte Johnson impersonator?  Reeeeally????)

The screenplay, adapted by R.S. Allen and Harvey Bullock, is heavy and bogged down.  Oddly enough, it’s missing a lot of the key comic moments that make the original memorable, even though all of the setups for those moments are introduced.  Wacky characters like Kilroy, the Ambassador’s sycophantic assistant, Father Dobney, the priest-turned magician who’s been in asylum for 6 years and Hatami, the deranged Hungarian chef are paraded briefly across the screen, their quirks noted and then POOF! They disappear without delivering the “money shot” that has been promised.

On a side note, for a G-rated film, there’s quite a bit of sexually charged banter between Susan and Axel! 

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Estelle Parsons is clearly the saving grace of the film with her sharp, clever line delivery. She adds a bit of humanity to the potentially irritating character.  (Best bit: “This is my daughter, Susan. She’s a Cesarean.”)

Surprisingly, the biggest drawback to the film is Jackie Gleason, who phones in his performance.  While Walter should be the Ugly American (loud, boastful, and crass), Gleason comes across as joyless and more than a little mean, making the central character of the story almost completely unlikable.

There are no extras at all on the DVD, except for subtitles, which, by the way, say that the country in question is “Bulgaria”, not Vulgaria as it’s called in the movie and on the DVD box.

You could do worse than catching Don’t Drink the Water, but it seems better suited to something you catch on television by mistake on a rainy afternoon than something worth seeking out as a rental.

2