Hate-Happy Horror Fans

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Are horror fans hungry for something to complain about, or is modern cinema simply stale?

We horror fans are a surly bunch.

Opinionated. Angry. Easily disappointed and even more easily disheartened. When we’re subjected to hack job remakes and speedily rushed sequels at a rate that defies the speed of a cheetah, it’s no surprise that we tend to bash any movie that dares to appeal to our well-honed tastes. What I wonder now, as Saw VI prepares to land its bloody feet on our ticket stubs, is if we were always such cinematic snobs.

Perhaps it’s the extreme nature at the very heart of most horror films that breeds such intense negativity. I guarantee that just as many people disliked the last tepid romantic comedy as those who greeted Halloween 2 with sneers (I was among the latter group), but you won’t see IMDBers drawing petitions to remove Diane Lane from Must Love Dogs with quite the same levels of ire as those itching to go all Godfather on Sheri Moon-Zombie and her fine white horse.

Hating bad horror films is nothing to be ashamed of, especially if the films in question are made and marketed with little heart or respect to what its fans actually want. My problem with the oft-irked horror crowd is our habit of cracking the bad jokes before we actually sit down in the theater. I can’t count how many like-minded film lovers whose opinions I respect have issued death warrants to Jennifer’s Body based on its trailer, cast, and one-credit writer who has somehow amassed mass hatred by penning a single successful indie screenplay. Oh yeah, and of those who have cracked smug grins at the mention of its failed box office, take a guess how many actually confirmed their judgment by seeing the film.

“Things were so much better in the ‘80s,” we grumble to our babysitting charges while taking a gulp from a rusty can of New Coke. Right, cinema was more innovative when a burly mute was silently slaughtering topless bimbos whose only method of survival was virginity and whininess. What have we come to when the most successful face of horror is a wrinkled old man with actual dialogue about the nature of mankind?

I won’t—and can’t—argue that the Saw series is composed of quality filmmaking, but every Halloween, I never fail to take a deep sigh before issuing a defense of the 5 and counting blockbuster(ish) films. Yes, the gore is gratuitous and the soundtrack grating, but how can someone who forked over $50 for the Friday the 13th boxed set still huff and puff about how torture porn is ruining the horror industry when Jason brought the bar down so low, the only escape was outer space? My idea of date night doesn’t usually include watching Brandon Walsh’s sociology professor get her rib cage torn apart, but at least Dina Meyer’s ill-fated detective was a literate and developed character.

There’s something charming about ‘80s slasher cinema and daringly dark in the grindhouse days and cannibal genre of the ensuing years. Then again, there’s also more forgettable slashers than a Sesame Street vampire could count before sunrise.  And hey, it took a lot of cruelly killed wildlife in painfully unwatchable movies before Cannibal Holocaust cruelly killed wildlife to make a statement about such painfully wrought cinema. Maybe Martyrs’ twisted analysis of torture is the evolution of “gorenography”; just like we needed eight ho hum Halloween sequels before we could get a Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, so each sub-genre needs to work itself out before it can achieve greatness. In the meantime, we as audiences watch what we like and judge what we actually see.

I can’t claim that we’re currently in a golden age of horror, as thus far, this decade has produced one masterpiece (Let the Right One In) and a few memorable gems that succeed mainly by honoring the old with a smart twist of new (Shaun of the Dead, The Descent, 28 Days Later). Still, there are plenty of modern films to make us celebrate the cinematic time we’re living in. Roll your eyes at Repo! The Genetic Opera for its headache-making chords, but don’t put it in punchlines and turn around with a ready-made rant about how filmmakers are currently devoid of creativity just because the few sparks of newness don’t appeal to your personal tastes. Most of all, bash nothing until you’ve actually basked in its badness.

Rants and rusty sharp device heavy games are welcome below. Are we a glass of blood is half-empty kinda crowd, or has horror truly taken a dip into disappointing hell? Share your thoughts, preferably after downing a bag of sugar-coated happy thoughts.

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Posted by Ghoul Friday on 10/23/2009, 08:25 AM

I sneer at many horror movies. I do. I won’t exclaim my hate to the masses until I’ve seen something, but I may share my lack of enthusiasm for a plot idea or a trailer.

I don’t ever hold an entire decade up above the rest. I remember being disenchanted with horror movies for a long time, and then Scream came out and I exclaimed to the heavens “THANK YOU for something different…something smart”. So in my opinion, we tend to have one or two good movies, then nothing special for another couple years.

I have more of a problem with how many people love ANY horror movies. Mindless, plotless, boobie-filled, stupid teenager infested, cookie-cutter horror movies that’s as crappy as the original film they are emulating.

NO franchise should venture past a trilogy. I don’t care how good it is ( I’m looking right at you, Saw movies). The first Saw was interesting. But now I can’t even remember what I liked about the original because those memories are awash in all the photocopied sequels that followed. It’s just new ways of torturing people. Thanks but no thanks.

And I feel the same way about the classics. Friday the 13th, in my opinion, should have stopped after part 2. MAYBE part 3 so he could get the mask. But that’s it. They also should have let Curtis kill Myers in Halloween the earlier Halloween movies.

And I would apply the same notion to movies I really liked. Imagine if Shaun of the Dead was a trilogy. “Shaun of the Dead 3: Ed Gets a Job”. I’d never be able to love the 1st one as much.

Great example: 28 Days Later. Awesome. Then the movie machine came in, wanting to blindly cash in on the success, and we got that steaming pile of cinematic lameness called 28 Weeks Later.

So when it comes to sequels and remakes, we need more people being negative about them. But don’t moan in public about it and then hand over your money at the theatre to encourage more of the same old crap. Wait till it comes onto cable, if you’re going to watch it. Your money is your voice.

Anything that’s really NEW in some way will get a fair shake from me.

Posted by Emily Intravia on 10/23/2009, 08:48 AM

Thanks so much for the great thoughts Friday. You make some excellent points and bring in the kind of defense I really like to hear. I guess I’ve accepted that sequels are the wood that keeps the horror genre burning holes in ticket buyers’ pockets. They’re a cinematic tradition that brought us everything from Bride of Frankenstein to Dawn of the Dead.

That being said, there’s a big difference between something like Aliens, which builds on the concept of its precursor, and Friday the 13th Part V, which simply rehashes everything that the four earlier films had done but with different clothing. In an ideal world, a sequel wouldn’t be made unless the previous film had an unfinished story to tell.

Something that bummed me a few months ago was Midnight Meat Train. I was so prepared to love it and bite my thumb at Lions’ Gate for shelving it so disrespectfully, but then I saw it. And hated it. Had that gone to theaters, I would’ve expected it to bomb fairly justifiably. Then again, Trick ‘r Treat was a super (if slightly overrated) time that worked by winking at its ‘80s spirit but updating it for a modern audience. I didn’t love that film, but I’d be happy for more installments of it.

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About Emily Intravia

Location: New York, New York

Occupation: Copy Editor/ESL Teacher/Writer

Bio: Emily, aka Chucklove to the Pop Syndicate forum family, is best described as a film snob with bad taste. When not watching horror movies, she is known to travel the world as an English teacher/grammar mercenary, work on her own creative writing, and become easily depressed by the general state of the NY Mets.

Posts: 34

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