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Sex, drugs, and room service.

From the name of the hotel (and the commercials run by the BBC), you’d expect that Hotel Babylon is the story of a hotel where anything goes – and you’d be wrong. Though the show is slick, glossy, and filled with scantily clad women, it comes off as surprisingly tame and – worst of all – filled with life lessons disguised as tips on surviving the hotel industry. Yawn.

Starring a collection of people you may or may not recognize from small parts in such BBC shows as Robin Hood, Ab Fab, Coupling and Doctor Who, the biggest name, by far, is Dexter Fletcher (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels) – and that ain’t saying much.

The first half of the eight episode long season deals with a cad named Luke, the newest concierge and dead handsome bad boy. As the staff welcomes back Charlie after his shooting at the end of season one, Luke worms his way into the good graces of the staff, only to show, bit by bit, episode by episode, the lows he’s willing to go to for money. The question is, how badly will he hurt the hotel, and those who work there?

As the season wraps up, the staff encounters a great deal of trouble that challenges their bond, including a brother wanted for murder, the Russian mafia, and a hostile takeover. By the end of the season, the staff is set to lose everything, and the question becomes, who will stay on? Will it be Ben, the most gay-bashed man in London, or Gino, the Barman of the Year? Can Charlie, with his sketchy past make the cut? How about Anna, who can’t keep a secret to save her life? Tony made a devil’s pact with the mob, but James is the ultra-snob who bears an obvious contempt for anyone with even the tiniest flaw in their manners.

This DVD has absolutely no extras, unless you count the vaguely amusing menu setup, which I don’t. The show is mildly entertaining at best, which, frankly, I found to be a disappointment, as I am an accredited anglophile. Predictable at every turn, it’s only really interesting when it attempts to tackle bigger issues – which is does badly. The hotel may be rated five stars, but the show definitely is not.

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