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Wow! Apparently sword swallowing is not a noteworthy talent to get you very far in America’s Got Talent! Speaking of things concerning impaling yourself on your own sword… here’s a title that does just that!

How the heck did things change so drastically between Ghost and Global!
Pirates vs. Ninjas: Global Harming 300 Million B.C. is the first title of the franchise to earn the sad sad distinction of sucking so utterly. HOW!! After so much praise I suppose the title had to hit a road bump sooner or later, but still it is abit sad to see the title get roughed up like this!

The issue covers the so called “Great War of Gold” in the year 300,000,000 B.C… so, uh… somebody is stretching long and hard for content? Was traditional sword and stealth fun in the days of Pirates and Ninjas not good enough? The title had to go into unbelievable garbage to stretch a story out? No! It didn’t!

Anyway it seems this is the origin of the undead Pirates and Ninjas from the better scoring title… which means, yes, sometimes things are just more fun dead… I mean undead. Atlantis is run by weird people with eggheads, ninjas are hanging out there doing the orders of the leaders (ninjas… really…) and pirates roam the seas on pirate ships perched on the back of water borne dinosaur… right.
The final battle however is hidden in a volcano on Atlantis, in the form of a huge piece of tech that makes gold… Pirates vs. Ninjas clash over the machine and it ends up destroying Atlantis and all involved… the oil is created from the gold machine and… don’t care.

You know what? Everything that was quirky and fun with Ghost Pirates vs. Ghost Ninjas, while everything was dull and uninteresting here. I don’t know, but somehow the fight for virgin booty is far more fun than the fight for gold (let that be a lesson to you one and all, unless you know a good bank with a great exchange rate for gold you better stick to fighting for female booty than a gold making machine… at the bottom of a volcano… on a doomed island continent).
Ghost Pirates vs. Ghost Ninjas = fun. Pirates vs. Ninjas : Global Harming = no fun. That means 1 failed one shot out of 5. Sorry.
© & ™ 2007 Antarctic Press

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