PopSyndicate.com

You know how every season Smallville seems to have one episode that’s so bad you can’t believe they actually made it? Say hello to Stiletto…

After Lois saves Chloe from a mobster who was trying to carjack her to prove they still “own the streets,” she decides to adopt the superhero persona of “Stiletto” in order to get close to the Red-Blue Blur (who she still doesn’t know is Clark). Meanwhile, Jimmy (trying to get cash for his new drug habit) just so happens to be working at the nightclub owned by the mob, where they also counterfeit money using—you guessed it—metallic ink from meteor rocks. Things go from bad to worse as they find out Jimmy knows Stiletto. The mobsters beat him up, and Clark gets his butt kicked while trying to save Jimmy because of all the Kryptonite ink around. So Lois, who was going to give up being a hero, sees this going on from the roof and jumps through the skylight and saves them, although Clark has to take a bullet in the side to save her in return. Oh, and Chloe is still having sex with Davis and hiding him in her basement while he continues to murder people.

They almost made it through this entire season without the so-bad-it’s-painful episode, but with only a few left they blew it. This is one of those where I don’t even know where to begin with the criticism, so let’s just start with the plot. I know Lois grew up learning martial arts and is the tough general’s daughter, but come on…she’s no superhero. And running around in a wannabe Catwoman costume is not the way to go if you’re going to be fighting criminals, not to mention jumping through skylights. So not only did she drop a couple of stories down and kick a mobster on the way, but she landed in her stiletto-heeled boots and didn’t snap her foot off in the process? Right…

I’ve also had it with Clark giving Lois the puppy-dog eyes in every episode. They’ve rewound things back to Season One when Clark was pining over Lana all the time. They need a lot more of the Moonlighting-style back and forth between Lois and Clark and a lot less of the teenage angst vibe. That phone call between them at the end of the episode was gag-inducing.

The Chloe storyline was better than the rest of the episode, but I know it was only in there to continue the Doomsday plot that’s going to culminate in the season finale.

Jimmy’s drug habit is already old after only a couple of episodes. First off, it’s way out of character for him in any Superman universe, and second, he should have wised up after almost getting himself, Clark, and Lois killed. Instead, he went and stole a bunch of the counterfeit cash so he could buy more drugs.

This weekend, the Hollywood Knights celebrity basketball team came and played the faculty at the school where I teach, and Sam Jones, who used to play Pete, was on the team. It reminded me of how much I miss that character, and how they really messed up by not figuring out how to use him properly.

That’s one of the many mistakes that led to this show being so hit-and-miss over the years, including the bad apples like this episode.

1