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An interesting interview with the former wife of Dee Dee Ramone

Several books and articles have been written about the Ramones, godfather’s of American punk. Most of them are from an outsider’s perspective. Now there is Poisoned Heart, a book written from an insider’s perspective from Vera Ramone King, who was once married to Dee Dee Ramone, the original bassist for the legendary punk band.

Vera opted to focus more on Dee Dee since there were other books about the band as a whole. She shows the good and the bad of this much misunderstood individual who was a creative, yet troubled soul.

It took a little work to get this interview set up and put together for your reading pleasure. I won’t go into details. This was an e-mail interview which makes it sometimes difficult to get your intended meaning and inflection across to the person you are interviewing. With that being said I would like to point out three things:

1) I never meant to sound as if I meant Mrs. King was being sued.

2) When I talk about Joey’s death, using the term “glossed over” probably should have been worded differently. Mrs. King talks of Joey’s death, but it doesn’t seem to come across in as much detail in her book as the deaths of Dee Dee and Johnny.

3) With the exception of some mechanical errors, this interview is unedited as promised to Mrs. King (my decision, not her request). Not that there is anything volatile in the Q&A, but what you see is pure Vera Ramone King and her thoughts which reveal that she truly cared for Dee Dee.

I hope you enjoy the interview and my thanks to Mrs. King for her participation.

Ethan Nahté: What prompted you to write a book about Dee Dee and to share more candid and intimate information as opposed to writing a book on The Ramones?
Vera Ramone King: I think there have already been several books published about the Ramones as a group and all of them have been written by men. This book is the ONLY one written by a woman and by someone who ACTUALLY lived with a Ramone. So the experiences I talk about are NOT second or third hand interviews or information for that matter. There also ISN’T one interview in the whole entire book, so I thought the fans would enjoy reading about what it was REALLY like to live with a Ramone firsthand. 

EN: Most women probably would’ve been so scared for their life or simply fed up with some of the things that Dee Dee put you through. Did you stay as long as you did because of unconditional love, fear of leaving or some other reason?

VRK: Interesting question Ethan, and the answer to that would be that I REALLY believed that in time things would change for the better and as naive as it may sound now, I thought we would live happily ever after once we worked out all the kinks in our marriage. It was never an issue of falling out of love and I firmly still believe in commitment and took my vows for better or worse. Sometimes it seemed like it was MORE worse than better but I always hoped for the best.

EN: You mention Dee Dee’s sweet side as well. Do you believe his mood swings were based more on his amount of drug usage at those moments, his bipolar condition or was he a person that gave gifts and acted as a child (as you state) at times seeking acceptance?

VRK: By nature Dee Dee was a very “giving” person. It made him happy to give and it made him feel good about himself to make others happy. He knew that he also made people miserable, so in some strange way in my opinion, he thought it was balanced out at the end and everything was even. The drug part of it only enhanced what he was already feeling inside. If it was a good day, everything was great! But if he was in a lousy mood when he got up, watch out!!!

EN: You mention some of the parties that you went to and the people at the parties, but you don’t talk too much about the interaction with the other celebs except how cool and glamorous the location and parties were. Are there any anecdotes that you left out? If so, was it due to space in the book or fear of being sued for libel?

VRK: First of all, I am not being sued for libel. There is not one thing that is libelous in the book. The statements made in the book are based on facts and they are also based on firsthand knowledge (because I was there) and my personal opinions. Of course I could have elaborated on certain things but for personal reasons chose not to disclose everything I know. As I mentioned previously, this is a book about Dee Dee and not the Ramones as a whole.

EN: You talk a little more in depth about the bizarre and horrible experience of meeting the eccentric Phil Spector. You discuss how he ruled the recording studio and scared the band with his gun-toting and threats. Did it surprise you or any of the other surviving band members that he was arraigned (and now convicted) on murder charges? Did you ever fear for your own life?

VRK: No, I absolutely never “feared” for my own life as far as meeting Phil Spector. Let’s just say that despite his eccentric behaviour, he was quite a gracious host but sometimes pranks can go awry when someone pulls out a gun and alcohol is involved. If you’re referring to his recent trial, I can’t say what happened. I wasn’t there and it’s for the court to decide what happened that night, not me.

EN: Speaking of life and death, you talk about the sad and tragic story of Dee Dee’s death and you even mention Johnny’s death, although he is described as a tyrant and not well-liked by the band. You seemed to have glossed over Joey’s death. I remember Joey wouldn’t even let Howard Stern and Robin see him while he was in the hospital for lymphatic cancer. Did he allow you & Dee Dee or any of the band and his close friends come see him? Why was his death barely mentioned in your book?

VRK: Joey was a very dear friend to me and I don’t believe I “glossed over” his death. His passing and untimely death was a shock to all of us who knew him. It’s extremely sad to see someone that young go so quickly as he did. At the time of his passing Dee Dee was residing in Los Angeles and I was already living in Florida, so neither of us were there to see him. I think it was mostly family and a few close friends that were allowed to visit him at that time because those were his wishes and his family respected that and kept it as private as possible.

EN: You talk about Johnny being a tyrant while the band was together, but you do credit him for being nicer after the band split. Did he ever really accept you or apologize to you for some of the moments when he seemed cruelest? Especially when Dee Dee was choking you in the van and he told people to stay out of it as you were close to being killed?

VRK: Johnny was “Johnny”, and he also had some good qualities. He was the brains in the band and he always made sure the Ramones were making money, even though the record sales were not what they’d hoped for. That’s why they always toured. The book is not written to portray anyone of us as saints. That being said, there’s a reason it’s called “punk rock” in the first place!

EN: You became part of Dee Dee’s life pretty early into The Ramones’ career. Did he work his songs out in the rehearsal room or studio with the band or did he do most of his work at home? Are there any particular songs that you can thing of that there was a special moment or influence that was his use for a song?

VRK: Dee Dee wrote songs almost everyday. He would write lyrics and then the music. When they weren’t playing, they would go to rehearsal in the city at least twice a week. This is where he would present the songs to the band and they would practice it in rehearsal to see if it was “Ramones” appropriate material or if it would get tossed into the “pile’. Many everyday circumstances would give him ideas to write a song about. It could be a simple thing or a major event. Everything was used to be written about especially when he wrote about himself.

EN: You mention that the band basically did originals because they weren’t able to learn and play cover tunes. Although Dee Dee was no longer a member of the band, what do you think of their album of cover tunes called Acid Eaters which they released near the end of their career?

VRK: That was in the very beginning when they started the Ramones. Cover songs were hard to do. Later throughout their career they did many different cover songs, “Baby I Love You,” “Indian Giver,” “Needles and Pins,” “Time,” just to name a few. Whatever song they chose to do, they gave it their own “Ramones”
sound. I think Acid Eaters was good but not my favorite.

EN: What did you think of the Rob Zombie produced album We’re A Happy Family tribute to the Ramones? All but one song was written or co-written by Dee-Dee. Was it a proud moment for you, his family, the surviving band members?

VRK: I can’t say because by then he had already left the Ramones and were no longer a couple. I’m sure he was proud at the time. Why wouldn’t he?

EN: Going back to Johnny and the relationship of the band, it seems that Johnny and Joey were friends to begin with and Dee Dee sort of fell in with them when they began the band. Was there always friction or was it a good relationship between the three of them in the early days?

VRK: When they originally met and lived in Forrest Hills, Queens it was the early 70’s. I met Dee Dee in 1977, so by then they had been together for awhile. I know that they all shared the “same” dream of becoming rockstars one day. They never aspired to be anything else in their lives.

EN: The night before Nancy Spungen was murdered Dee Dee wanted the two of you to go with Sid (Vicious) & Nancy to hang out. Was there something about the atmosphere and Sid that night that gave you some sort of warning not to go? What did it feel like when you heard the news of Nancy’s death? Do you think it would’ve happened that night in front of you two? Do you feel like Sid may have harmed you and Dee Dee?

VRK: We were at home and getting ready to go out on tour again. We were invited to come to the Chelsea Hotel for a party at Sid and Nancy’s hotel room that night. My initial instinct was “NO”, don’t go. We could easily have gone for a while. Dee Dee was always up for a party but to go hang with Sid and Nancy to me meant Dee Dee doing heroin , and this was not a good idea as far as I was concerned and we didn’t need to go out of our way to look for trouble. I just said “I’d rather not go” and though he was somewhat disappointed he also knew exactly Why? I didn’t think this was such a good idea, so we left it at that. Besides we had to still pack our stuff and get ready for the next day’s departure and had to be ready to go pretty early the next day. We heard the news the next day while we were all in the van and were completely in “shock” and saddened by the news. It was horrible to hear that! Sid didn’t have a mean bone in his skinny body! I couldn’t possibly imagine that he could have killed anyone. Despite calling himself Sid Vicious, he was anything but vicious! To this very day I honestly don’t believe Sid could have killed Nancy. If he did, it had to have been by shear accident!! Again, I’m stating my opinion ONLY. It still makes me sad to this day. The admiration between Dee Dee and Sid was mutual.

EN: The music scene has had more than it’s fair share of overdoses and deaths. When Dee Dee was going to rehab did seeing or hearing about his friends and contemporaries dying not strike a chord with him that he was endangering himself and you?

VRK: Of course! He knew well what the consequences were and what the odds were every time he screwed up. Addiction is NOT a choice, it’s a disease!  If left untreated properly , like cancer - the disease will kill you. It’s also a very selfish disease because one does not care about anything or anyone else but feeding the disease to stop the “pain”.

EN: Being someone who has also suffered numerous migraines and a headache that lasted for six years, I can sympathize with what you went through. Although I didn’t contract cancer of the brain and have a different disease, was it a relief to finally find out what was causing the headaches even though it was news that could prove to be fatal? How are you doing after the time, stress and effort of putting out I Married Dee Dee Ramone?

VRK: The headaches I suffered from were never properly diagnosed and a brain MRI was not performed until 2004. By then I had been suffering since the winter of 1989. I had learned to cope and accept that I had some sort of mental illness and often thought that I probably had contacted it in some way from Dee Dee which obviously couldn’t be true. But what did I know? After being in the hospital for over three months and steadily getting worse with each passing day I was finally diagnosed properly although it was the last thing I had expected to possibly hear! Having the tumor removed could be fatal, and NOT removing would be fatal! It was a NO win situation for me. For me that tumor which they removed proved to be benign. Thank god! To this day I continue to deal with issues and get checked regularly.  I am grateful to have been so close and given another chance.

Life as you know it can be taken away in a heartbeat and I guess it just wasn’t my time. I try to live each day to the best of my ability. Some days are better than others, but even the bad days are better than none at all. What more can I say? 

EN: What is your favorite memory of your life with Dee Dee?

VRK: There are many but probably the very early time in our relationship when we first met and life seemed to be a fairytale. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world!

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